Why Dads deserve credit too!

We as women, are pretty fabulous in my opinion but it saddens me how little credit is given to the Dad’s who deserve so much recognition !

I personally grew up with a Father and Step Father who are amazing male role models plus had the bonus of an Uncle who helped bring me up so between them all I knew the traits to look for in a husband even if I didn’t “get it” until I was older.

It wasn’t until my husband and I became parents that we had the conversation about how hard being a Dad really is. He pointed out after our first was born that he had never been so lost and nervous before. He told me, “Babe you only worried about him and if he was okay. I was worried about him AND you. That’s my job, to worry about EVERYONE.” I was speechless ((that never happens!!)) It was then that it hit me; involved Dads are serious rock stars and here are a few reasons why I say that.

They protect.  Sort of like what my hubby said, they worry about the entire family. Men are literally programmed to be providers of all things safety. So ladies be sure to smack his butt and say thanks when he changes the smoke detector batteries, or listen to him a little harder when he tells you to be safe when you leave for that Wal-Mart run. Don’t get mad at him when he’s upset with you for leaving your keys in the door for the 15th time this month (sorry babe!) Take a moment to say thank you because he really does mean well.

They set the bar high.  We have a son, and one on the way so my husband is setting the bar for how they should treat future spouses, and how they are to provide for a family. But the men who have daughters are showing them exactly how they should be treated.

The way they can calm your storm. We have all been there before. Your other half comes home and sees you upset in the kitchen or hiding in the bathroom. You are about to lose your mind because the kids haven’t listened all day, or the dogs have rolled in something that smells like something from a crime scene or maybe you are just flat-out exhausted from being stretched thin and you’re staring a break down in the face. In that moment when you feel like a crazy lady he brings a calm to your soul like no one else can and reassures you it’s going to be okay…bonus when he takes over the role of mean parent and let’s you grab a hot shower with no little people or smelly dogs! 🙂 

They can reach all the high stuff AND lift the heavy stuff.  Need I say more?!

They work. Setting the example for their children of how providing should be done, they work and they work HARD. I know everyone has a different opinion on what hard work is, and that’s okay but from the wife of a man who often pulls 300 plus hours in 4 weeks I appreciate this trait of a father my husband has! 

They fill the gaps.  Just like how he calms the storm for you he manages to be there at the right moment to fix whatever mini crisis is brewing. Someone has a last minute doctors appointment, you forgot to take out something out to thaw for dinner so he brings dinner home, or the faorite toy broke AGAIN. They seem to just effortlessly slide in at the right moment to save the day. 

There are so many more things a father does, be it biological, step, or even just a bonus male role model in a child’s life that is important. This weekend being Father’s day I encourage you to be simple. Tell him thank you, do the celebratory things, but it will go a long way if you can keep the positive traits in mind everyday of the year. A person grows and does more when showed grace, love, encouragement, and appreciation regardless of who they are or their role in this world.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s in the world to include those who stepped up when someone else didn’t!!

XO Chey

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Beautiful You

Your body, child-bearing or not is a BEAUTIFUL masterpiece.

Your head holds memories no one else has in the exact same way you do.

Your arms have carried little ones so they felt safe or brought peace to someone with hug when they needed it most.

Your hands held someone else’s through a tough or scary time.

Your legs have carried you through life’s obstacles or supported you during the best memory filled times you can think of.

Your feet have traveled miles in the years you have been on this earth and allowed you to see so much.

How could you hate any part of that?

I find myself struggling from time to time just like any other woman but when I remember this body created two little lives, and this is the only body they know with ZERO judgement nothing else matters.

I know it’s hard.

You look in the mirror and see only the flaws, not the way those flaws or imperfections make you uniquely you.

Fact of the matter is you are the ONLY version out there of you.

Learn to love your body and all it has done even if society says you shouldn’t & if you want to make changes to it make sure you’re doing it to be healthier or solely for you – not because someone makes you feel like you should be a different you.

XO Chey

 

PS This is a random snapshot I recently took of my first laying on my belly that’s big with my second. In that moment as Payton dozed off and Porter finally calmed down I felt ashamed of how many times I have recently complained about my body as it’s doing this amazing thing. So grateful for the reminder to love me.

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“You pretty Mommy!”

A few weeks ago I was in the shower and to no surprise my two year old son was patiently standing on the other side of the curtain chatting away to me.

He would tell me colors of things in the bathroom and pop a few bath toys in for me “You need Mommy?” I would hear as another toy was landing at my feet.

Shortly after the third toy made it’s appearance I heard him walk out of the bathroom but quickly heard the pitter patter of little feet excitedly returning just as I was dressing. (They certainly know no privacy!)

“It you Mommy! It you!!!” I looked at what my sweet boy was holding in his hand and couldn’t help but laugh.  He had one of those perfume cards from a beauty magazine in his chubby hand proudly exclaiming, “It you Mommy it you! You pretty.”

In that moment it hit me. He doesn’t see the flaws I do, he sees a pretty lady on that card and she reminds him of me because to him I am pretty.

Your children do not see the things the way you do.

They do not see the imperfections we point out to ourselves everyday. They don’t notice the stretch marks or the blemishes we think can be seen from space. They don’t care if our hair is a mess or our clothes more for comfort than style.

They only see love, comfort, and safety.

The body you hate is all they know and they don’t mind the curves, stretch marks, and blemishes we feel make us less than. We, in all our imperfect glory are amazing, prefect, and “pretty” to them. How amazing is their innocence while they are young and haven’t had the wordly views pressed upon them.

How we show them what we see in ourselves is how they will learn to view themselves. Maybe instead of finding fault in ourselves we should focus on the strengths we have instead.

Decide how you want your daughters and sons to view themselves and set an example of self love. You won’t regret it.

XO Chey

Ps I’m not sure who this model is but I hope you don’t mind my son’s comparison 🙂

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Stretchy pants, lost sanity, & being uncool.

As a Mom do you ever find yourself having one of THOSE days. Ya know, where you’re like, “What happened to me?” “When did I get this boring and stop being cool?!” Or “Am I always going to be this grouchy, stretchy pant wearing monster?!” 

If you’ve never asked yourself these things or atleast something close to it then this blog post is not for you…..

If you are sitting there saying something along the lines of, “Preach it!” “Heck yes!!!” or contemplating if we are the same person then this one is for you. 

LISTEN UP!!

If no one has told you today allow me to let you know you are beautiful with your dirty hair, make up free face, and abused stretchy waisted pants. You are one in a million and I along with my mom bun, make up free face, and thoroughly abused yoga pants are cheering you on. 

I sometimes think back to all the things I had planned for myself (feel free to giggle, we all know planning doesn’t amount to much but a hill of beans….) and I am like, “What happened and where did my cool go?”

Beach trips? Clear and tan skin? Thin waist line? Perfect {clean} shiny hair? Late nights with laughs until early in the morning? Man, I used to be fun!! Yea I traded all that in for the trips to the grocery store, ghostly pale complexion that makes people ask if I am ill without make up, I rock serious curves thanks to child birth, and my late nights are filled with someone yelling “MOMMMMMM!” And me praying for my sanity sometimes while in tears. 

I used to have a pretty cool and unusual job, extra spending money, and well my sanity. Thennnnnnnn I became a mom.

But fact of the matter is there is no job like this one. 
Not everyone is cut out or this lifestyle and that’s okay!

You were blessed with those babies because God needed a mother for them who can handle their sass, stubbornness, and meet their needs. You have selflessly taken on the role to bring the next generation up and while you may feel overwhelmed today you know dang well you wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Those babies, they think you’re cool, perfect, beautiful, amazing…. The list goes on and on in their eyes because you are all they know Momma. That curvy body comforts them while your tired eyes see all their worth. One day those long nights will fade away and believe it or not we will miss these moments of chaos and being uncool.

This world is harsh enough don’t be so hard on yourself. Love you for all that you are and appreciate these days before they change again to the next season of life. Don’t miss out because you were too caught up in what shouldn’t matter.

XO Chey

One’s impact on the rest

Everyone has those days on the calendar they wish they could skip. The days you try to hold back tears when the happiest of memories come to mind because those memories bring a sadness. It’s a whirl wind of emotions that tends to take your breath away. 

Today is one of those days for me. 7 years ago I lost someone who was a HUGE part of my life. 

10 years ago I was 17 sitting in a recruiters office thinking I had it all figured out. I made friends with a quiet 16 year old who was training with them a full year before he could have his parents sign for him to enlist. We became very close and our relationship grew tremendously while we were trying to figure out who we were and where we were going in this big world. From letters sent back and fourth while I was in South Carolina to him leaving for Georgia and both of us coming back home. Trips to the local amusement park, hockey games, the beach, late nights with groups of our friends and family events. We may have eventually grown apart but we still checked in from time to time with one another. It had only been a few weeks since I had talked to him and I had a hard time processing the news he was taken too soon. He was only 19 years old on his way to answer someone else’s call for help when he was in a car accident and called home. 

I am now 27, married, and a mother but I will tell you the impression made on me by a person so young has stuck. It has helped mold me into the wife I am and I am striving to be, the mother I am, and the overall person I am today. It’s why I do not take people for granted and my family comes first. The lessons I had absolutely no idea I was learning all those years ago have come out later on in my life and I just grin and send up a silent prayer of gratitude for all those years ago and the time spent with Brandon. 

Do not ever underestimate yourself because of your age or think you can’t make a difference for someone else because you haven’t “lived” life long enough. My greatest influence went to Heaven to make it a brighter place at just 19 and if you could see the amount of people he has brought together you’d be absolutely blown away. 

In this day and age so many people walk around feeling they are less than, or not good enough, and question their purpose in the world. What you aren’t seeing is the person who needs you, the person you probably least suspect is going to be influenced by your presence – maybe not right now but one day it will all make sense. You deserve to live your life to the fullest, don’t take things so seriously, talk to someone when you need to or you’re feeling down. I know it isn’t always that easy but I promise it’s worth it. YOU are worth it. Today tell someone you love them, thank someone for being your rock, and hug your loved ones a bit tighter. 

XO Chey


Seasons Change

Time changes things, as does life events. 

I can not tell you how many times I have had the conversation with my Mom or husband about how much things have changed and I didn’t even realize it.  From friends, to life milestones, and even relationships with family members!! You don’t necessarily mean to put time and distance between those you love it just sort of happens and often before you realize it weeks or months have gone by.

My Mom once told me that sometimes people find themselves in different seasons in life and occasionally with some time you might find yourselves sharing a season again. Just like the leaves change with the season so do friendships and it’s a completely taboo thing that no one seems to discuss. I get it, sometimes you’re thinking to yourself “What the heck is wrong with me that I don’t hear from so and so anymore or why didn’t I get invited to do {fill in the blank} I am guilty of being down on myself thinking I said or did something wrong but the truth is, its totally okay to not be in the exact same place as your bestie from high school or maybe the person you were in college isn’t the same as you are as a spouse or parent and so you have less in common with your old friend right now. That’s normal and doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.  People grow and develop their ENTIRE lives so how one person grows may not be how the next person grows and develops. 

Maybe you are at that point in your life where you are married and building a family but your BFF is single and just not on the same lifetime movie moment you are. Maybe you are the type to stay in (Not judging, this is totally me!) and the people you were once super close with still go out every weekend.  There is nothing wrong with being either way- some people are just at a different time in their life and maybe in 5 years you will find yourself both cheering your kids on running their little legs off around baseball plates sitting side by side on the same bleacher. Or maybe you and your spouse are out to dinner and run into another couple and you just pick up like it hadn’t been two years since you spent time together. 

The point is, you never know what will happen, don’t assume you will stay on the exact same path as everyone you spent the last few years with because things change, seasons change, and life changes EVERYTHING. However do not just assume because there’s been time or distance between you and someone else that it’s a lost relationship. It’s absolutely okay to be “different” and have your own thing going on! It’s just how life works.

To my friends in other seasons, I see you, I love you and I will always be around!

{Probably on the couch and binging some girly something or another ignoring the 500,000 toys in my living room}    😉

XO Chey

Taking Care of Your Boots

Originally wrote December 11,2017 I wrote this for a wives group I help manage on Facebook. While this shows the example of my husband and I’s relationship through his worn duty boots I believe anyone can relate this somehow to their marriage and relationships.

I did something today. I ordered hubby new boots. But here’s the thing. He mentioned he could use a new pair but was waiting until after Christmas. I didn’t give it much thought honestly. After just buying a house, having a toddler, and Christmas rapidly approaching I kinda just forgot about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yesterday I realized I ran out of firewood in the house and had to step outside to get it. It isn’t far but there’s snow on the ground and it’s cold; I realized I didn’t have shoes readily available so I slipped my feet into my hubby’s big ole duty boots that were sitting by the back door (I know, kinda yucky but hang on!) and realized just how worn they were. 

I could feel the big grooves of where his heels sit. I could tell exactly where his toes press against the top of them, I could feel the actual material deteriorating inside and I just about cried. I mean here he is busting his butt to provide and continue to give while putting his needs on hold but it was a little more than that honestly.

You see they’re just boots but they are what he wears everyday to two jobs. They are what he wears to run when someone calls for help, they are what he wears when he’s tired, sore, and overworked. They are a tool he has to make sure he’s prepared. Shoes aren’t necessarily important.

But these shoes? They’re like us. Made for long term commitment-like his long shifts. His heels pushing into the soles of those boots are like the stress of the job putting pressure on our marriage & family leaving permanent indentations on our lives. His toes pushing back into the upper material is like how we have to push the negative away. Those laces? They represent him and I. You see we come together so much so it might be hard to see where one starts and the other ends. We work together to keep things together like the stitching even tho those stitches may stretch under pressure it takes a lot to break them. 

They might just be boots but they represent a lot more to me now. While they are replaceable our other halves aren’t. I know there’s things that happen in life and sometimes things just don’t go as planned or things become too much but keep trying. 

Ladies, always take care of your boots ❤️

XO Chey